To the Point
“Come as you are” has become a slogan at many churches across North America as they strive to assure seekers that they are welcome and will not be judged. But this isn’t always what we practice. How can we overcome our flawed human nature to value those who come to our churches “as they are?”
Jesus modeled what valuing all human life looks like by interacting with Samaritan women, eating meals with tax collectors and sinners, ministering to prostitutes, and touching the untouchable lepers. We've experienced this at The Upper Room, though it hasn't been easy. We've had to become more intentional in reaching out to those less attractive or who may have hygiene issues. We’ve had to delay our human tendency to affiliate with "our own kind" and to live out Christ-like love toward the less appealing. As we do, we pray for our hearts to be like His heart, and our eyes to see what He sees.
James Phillips, The Upper Room (Lewistown, Pa.)
At The Table, it’s a bigger challenge for our guests to deal with how the preacher looks: a 315-pound man in shorts, sneakers, and a Phillies jersey preaching to them about "Running the Race.” What does this guy know about running a race? The only running he does is to the kitchen and back to his Lazyboy between innings!
Of course our flawed human nature gets in the way, but it is our ongoing challenge to move beyond these self-imposed limitations. We must force ourselves not to allow a person's appearance to become the thing that measures their worth. I notice that many Christians have a difficult time knowing how to relate to people suffering with mental or emotional illnesses. My father and two sisters struggled with depression and bi-polar disorder. What they needed was a strong network of support; but as they grew weaker, so did their support network. With depression and mental illness on the rise, the Church needs to become better equipped to love and accept these dear people.
Dan Houck, The Table Community Church (East Lancaster, Pa.)
We have "come as you are" as part of a slogan for our church, which is for the most part true. The sad fact, however, is that, in reality, many of our churches have statements regarding divorce and remarriage in their documents that virtually preclude someone "coming as they are." To be sure, divorce is messy and we’re told that God hates it, but having statements which limit the involvement or ministry of a divorced person is crazy when divorce(now endemic), affects virtually every family.
Lawrence Olson, Light of Christ Fellowship (Des Moines, Iowa)
Heather was the sister of a church member and was in the throws of an addiction. The first night she came, a number of us gathered around her, anointed her, and prayed that she would be healed. But soon after, she made yet another suicide attempt. As we prayed for Heather and visited her in the hospital, God began to heal her emotionally. She ended up coming back to church with her boyfriend, Blain, who she met at the hospital. As they got involved in the life of the church, they also made plans for marriage. And since they did not have the money, what better place to have a wedding than during a worship service? It was a joy for our whole church to bless them in marriage and to celebrate the healing and the hope we all have in Jesus Christ.
John King, CrossWalk Community (Mechanicsburg, Pa.)
"Come as you are" didn’t start out to mean that any type of appearance is acceptable, but that you did not have to appear in your “Sunday best." But certainly, we still kept the expectation of coming neat and clean with adequate clothing.
Clothing conveys a mark of respect. In the Old Testament, God commanded the Israelites to come to worship Him only after bathing and putting on clean clothes as a mark of respect for Him. God is present when we gather to worship, so a respectful appearance is proper. However, it does not mean we dress according to some imposed dress code.
That said, first-time visitors should always be welcome whatever their condition and appearance. Respectful appearance before God will come when they recognize and accept God for who He is.
Peter H. von Keyserling, Ridge View BIC (Roanoke, Va.)
"Come as you are" has a definite appeal to congregations that want to be "seeker sensitive," but I question whether this might be false advertising sometimes. Before coming to the BIC, I served a congregation in southern California that worked hard at hospitality. I was disheartened, however, after Marion, an African American woman, shared that an older woman in the congregation had given her directions to another church. She had told Marion that she was glad that she could visit, but thought that she might more comfortable at this other congregation, which was predominately African American and 30 miles away!
The issue runs deeper than skin, too. I have served congregations that have put out the welcome mat, but then have taken it upon themselves to freeze out people who are divorced, living together but not married, or even in mixed-race marriages, not to mention what happens to people who are perceived to be gay or lesbian.
Todd Hammond, Highland BIC (West Milton, Ohio)
I would strongly advocate a welcoming mindset to visitors, whether well-known area leaders or unknown drop-ins. Last Sunday, the wife of a married couple, who have become regular attenders, expressed appreciation for the welcome I gave them on their first Sunday of attendance at our church. It was a bit of a surprise to me, as I often look for those who seem to be new or alone. She said they plan to be regular attenders. For them, "welcome" was an important starting point.
Dave McBeth, Grantham (Pa.) BIC
